No Fishing Allowed

 Corrie Ten Boom and the Topic of Forgiveness

Several weeks ago, I was talking with my one-on-one (Kaitlyn, whom I have really grown to admire and respect. She is from Chicago) about the topic of forgiveness. Kaitlyn knew that forgiveness has been weighing on my heart ever since I arrived on the base. So, one day she walked up to me and handed me my journal and a book written by Corrie Ten Boom. Inside of my Journal there was a sticky note that read, “Tiffany I think you should read chapter seven in Tramp for the Lord.” So, I took Kaitlyn's advice and read it. I want to share the story with anyone reading this blog today. I hope that this story impacts you as much as it did for me.

“ It was in a church in Munich that I saw him-a balding heavyset man in a gray overcoat, a brown felt hat clutched between his hands. People were filing out of the basement room where I had just spoken. It was 1947 and I had come from Holland to defeated Germany with the message that God forgives.”

“It was the truth they needed most to hear in that bitter, bombed-out land, and I gave them my favorite mental pictures, maybe because the sea is never far from a Hollander’s mind, I liked to think that’s where forgiven sins where thrown. ‘When we confess our sins,’ I said, ‘God casts them into the deepest ocean, gone forever. And even though I cannot find a Scripture for it, I believe God then places a sign out there that says, NO FISHING ALLOWED.”

“The Solemn faces stared back at me, not quite daring to believe. There were never questions after a talk in Germany in 1947. People stood up in silence, in silence, collected their wraps, in silence left the room. And that is where I saw him, working his way forward against the others. One moment, I saw the overcoat and the brown hat; the next, a blue uniform and a visored cap with its skull and crossbones. It came back with a rush: the huge room with its harsh overhead lights; the pathetic piles of dresses and shoes in the center of the floor; the shame of walking naked past this man. I could see my sister’s frail form ahead or me, ribs sharp beneath the parchment skin. Betsie, how thin you where!”

“The place was Ravensbruck and the man who was making his way forward had been a guard-one of the most cruel guards. Now he was in front of me, hand thrust out: ‘a fine message, Freulein! How good it is to know that, as you say, all our sins are at the bottom of the sea!” he said to me. And I, who had spoken so glibly of forgiveness, fumbled in my pocket rather than take the hand of this man. He would not remember me, of course-how could he remember one prisoner among thousands of women? But I remembered him and the leather crop swinging from his belt. I was face-to-face with one of my captors and my blood seemed to freeze.”

The man went on to tell Corrie (even though he did not recognize who she was) that he was a guard in the place she spoke about in her speech. He had recently become a Christian. He confessed to Corrie, that he knew God had forgiven him for all the cruel things he did in the past. But he wanted to hear it from her lips as well.

“Again the hand came out, ‘will you forgive me?’ And I (Corrie) stood there- I whose sins had again and again to be forgiven-and could not forgive. Betsie had died in that place- could he ease her slow terrible death simply for asking?” “It could not have been many seconds that he stood there-hand held out-but to me it seemed hours as I wrestled with the most difficult thing I had ever had to do. For I had to do it- I knew that. The message the God forgives has a prior condition: that we forgiven those who have injured us. ‘If you do not forgive men their trespasses,’ Jesus says, ‘neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.”

“I stood there with coldness clutching my heart. ‘Jesus help me!’ I prayed. ’I can left my hand. I can do that much. You supply the feeling.’ I stretched out my hand and as I did, an incredible thing took place. The current started in my shoulder, raced down my arm, sprang into our joined hands. And then this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole being, bringing tears to my eyes. ‘I forgive you, brother!’ I cried, ‘with all my heart.’ For that long moment, we grasped each other’s hands, the former guard and the former prisoner. I have never knows God’s love so intensely, as I did then."

Reading Corrie Ten Boom’s story greatly impacted me. I began to think about what it would look like for me to forgive the person who had hurt me the most. Could I do it? Little did I know, God was preparing the way. Just a few days later, He would give me an opportunity through an unexpected call. I would have a choice....would I choose forgiveness or hold bitterness within my own heart?

An Unexpected Call

Two days, after reading Tramp for the Lord, I was walking to the classroom (near a hammock where I spend time with the Lord every day). My leader came up to me and said, “How are you doing?” I told her that I had been thinking about Sam. “God has put it on my heart that I need to forgive him for everything he has done.” I told her. In that moment, Elena looked at me with compassion on her face and said, “Tiffany, I think now is that time. Sam is on the phone, in the office, and he wants to speak with you.” My heart began to race and my legs began to shake as I looked at her. She could see the fear written all over my body. But, I knew Elena was right…and with God’s help it was time for me to say those three words; the words that had been weighing on my heart for months. It was time to say, “I forgive you.”  

My mind began to run in place. And my pride didn’t want to say those words -as I walked to the office room at base. Mainly because I knew that after I spoke them; I would not be able to go fishing anymore. There would be a clear sign that read, “No Fishing Allowed.” I was very aware that as soon as the words, “I forgive you” left the tip of my tongue… I would no longer be able to hold anything over his head. But, then it hit me! I thought about the cross and my own sins. In that moment, I remembered the price that Jesus paid for me and how His unconditional love has always taken me back; no matter how many times I have failed and disappointed Him. And these verse came to mind,

“And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you where sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, browling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.” 

-Ephesians 4:30-32

  “Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him. Another reason I wrote you was to see id you would stand the test and be obedient in everything.” -2 Corinthians 2:7-9

So, I walked to the office and picked up the phone. I heard the voice of Sam, humbly ask me for forgiveness. He apologized for hurting me the way that he did. We talked for a while and he said many things that I had needed to hear for a long time. Although there was no “feeling of sudden release” (like what happened in the story); once I told Sam that I forgave him- I knew in my heart that something big had taken place. I had made a choice to forgive! And I learned something very important that I will never forget. “Forgiveness is not an emotion. Rather it is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the  temperature of the heart” (Corrie Ten Boom).

I Am a Clean Slate 

The week after I received this call from Sam, my team and I had “Inner Healing” week.  During this time, each one of us was given the opportunity to share about our past hurts and confess to the class who we needed to forgive. I personally shared about how I had forgiven Sam. After I told my testimony, my leaders brought a white canvas to me. They told me, “Tiffany, you are now a clean slate. Live in the freedom that Christ has already given you!”

“Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the one who sin the Lord does not count against them and in those spirit is no deceit” -Psalm 32”1-2 

 This is a photo of my small group. We read two books of the Bible and studying them together every Saturday, as a way to prepare for outreach! Next time I will be sharing with you all where it is we will be going....

Thank you all for your prayers and support, while I am here in Costa Rica.
Have a wonderful week ya'all!:)

ps. I would really love to hear from you personally